An expert in getting back up again – writer, speaker, teacher

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Why Black Fear Matters

I write this essay as a direct response to all of the drama surrounding the belief, statistically factually proven or not, that the black folks in our great state of California overwhelmingly voted for Prop 8.


Will Marriage Save Us?

Marriage, any type of commitment, and being truly, terrifyingly, unabashedly, emotionally intimate is for grown ups. This is the reason we now have this insane obsession with marriage.


Glee is Brilliant Television

I write this response to highlight and draw attention to the most sublime television I have seen in over a decade.


Is Glee Too Gay?

First off, I want to say that I love this show. Every scene between Kurt and his dad is kind, hopeful, thoughtful, loving and insightful. If any of us had ever had an adult this supportive and nonoppressive, things would be quite different. However, I want to address the concept of duality or, more appropriately, living with and managing our own contradictions.


The Self Esteem Our Precious Young Boys Need to Thrive

To all the boys who may or may not be queer. The boys picked last in sports but first for the latest in fashion, entertaining, and tasteful decorating. The boys who couldn't catch a football but instead could clean a bathroom until it sparkles and offer serious, heartfelt care to a sick sibling.

I salute you.


Did I Sign a Youth Death Sentence?

I am a cowardly murderer.

I stood by watching the hate and homophobia of the world devour our youth and did nothing to prevent it. I could have spoken up. I could have screamed. I could have demanded they take me.


Six Dead Kids Who Needed More than Safety

Whenever I have worked with young people, the issue of safety is obsessively focused on. You can't touch them (unless it is in front of other people and even then it's frowned upon). You can't be too involved or concerned and above all you can't share any personal information that would provide real world insight (see Seth Stambaugh's firing for proof).


40+ and Refusing to Be Dismissed

Within the gay community, there seem to be two factions, old and young.

I want to specifically address these issues even though I know someone will bitch and say we have more issues than this, or this is too simplistic, or we're far more complex.


In Praise of Good Men

In an effort to make sense of so much of the craziness that goes on, everybody would like a scapegoat. Someone to blame everything on.

I have read a great deal of feminist literature. I love me some bell hooks and actually met and talked with her once on a subway when I lived in NYC. I have read feminists, male and female, and I have realized that the problem was never with men.


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