Category Archives: gay writing

What to Do When the Poison That is Racism Enters Your Home

Several years ago, I read an essay about the ways that we respond to violence. We typically will have one reaction if we are assaulted by someone we don’t know or have never seen. We respond differently when it is someone we know intimately. Our most significant relationships either foster courage or wither away by… Read More »

Burn the Manual Presents: The Power and Cost of Visibility

When people want to punish those they love nothing works better than rendering them invisible. Nathaniel Branden in his brilliant work on self esteem and its effects on relationships often highlights the need for psychological visibility. With this powerful ingredient, the ways that persons interact are filled with opportunities for growth and unlimited emotional intimacy.… Read More »

Burn the Manual Presents: Designing New Systems for Better Results

For the last year, I have developed a healthy and in some cases obsessive focus on systems- how they work; how they get created; who determines if it is time for an update. Everything is systems based and success and failure is highly determined by an individuals level of self discipline within the system of… Read More »

How to Recreate Your Family and Guarantee a Sense of Belonging

When children are born, they are looking in the faces of all these strange people with one question in mind- Do I belong here? What we are seeking from birth onward is the question: Am I worthy of connection? As a culture, we refuse to see it and recognize it as normal, healthy and human.… Read More »

Shame, Shame ,Shame Everybody Knows Your Name

Many of my young charges struggle with some form of learning. While one may be brilliant and unstoppable with math and its application, the same person might have severe challenges with remembering to add punctuation at a sentence’s end. While another creates incredible artwork, there lies difficulties in manipulating numbers to construct a coherent plan… Read More »

What Fifty Years of Compassionate Impatience Can Get You

In this country, three factions can get away with telling the truth- mentally insane, small children and old folks. If you live long enough, you will get to spend some time in each category. Currently, I live and play behind door # 3. As I age, I find no reason to agree to bullshit I… Read More »

Burn the Manual Presents: Thriving in a Trump World- Stop Bitching Start a Revolution

We, at Burn the Manual, commit to taking action and out thinking systems that keep us broke, stupid, needy and victimized. Within our new governmental change, we are now either extremely fucked or on the verge of greatness. The Donald pimped and punked us all. Now what are we gonna do about it? My thinking… Read More »

Don’t Read This Unless You Plan on Living to Be 1,000

Almost ten years ago, I made a personal vow to myself. My vow was all about committing to a life of artistic merit. My decision was to give myself fifty years to “make it” in the arts. While my idea of having made it has changed considerably over the years, my desire to constantly create… Read More »

What Nobody Tells You About Aging: My Response to the Leisure Seeker

Sometimes, you get a visual of something and it won’t let you be. Two weeks ago, I watched a wonderful film, The Leisure Seeker that deals with long term commitment, memory loss and growing older. There are so many things that no one bothers to mention regarding the aging process. Hearing loss, vision battles and… Read More »

How My Steamy 45 Second Affair with Hugh Jackman Saved My Marriage

Admit it. Whenever you see Wolverine in all his muscled glory you go weak in the knees. Ya’ll remember that time when the adamantium transfer was complete and he leapt up from that tub buck naked and you lost your ever-loving mind. Don’t pretend you didn’t swoon when he woke up in 1974 rocking them… Read More »