Admit it.
Whenever you see Wolverine in all his muscled glory you go weak in the knees.
Y’all remember that time when the adamantium transfer was complete and he leapt up from that tub buck naked and you lost your ever-loving mind.
Don’t pretend you didn’t swoon when he woke up in 1974 rocking them abs and that ass you didn’t shriek- SWEET CHRISTMAS.
And naturally, there are the things that make him seem like an all-around good guy who loves his kids and wife.
Consider the life imitates art moment from the Greatest Showman in the World Christmas 2017 when he used his imagination to build his dreams and his young daughters’ hopes.
Yes, Jackman is all that and a bag of biscuits but nothing is as titillating as our 45-second affair.
What I lovingly refer to as my 45-second tryst was nothing more than a dream.
In my dream, we are both superheroes with extraordinary abilities.
Naturally, my gifts exceed his.
At some point, before we hit China town ( I’m ordering dumplings and wonton soup which holds us up) to save the world from some evil, Hugh enters my room naked.
Of course, the world apocalypse and the dumplings can wait.
Oddly enough, we never have sex, we end up intertwined both fully aroused while I tell him of my undying love and admiration; he’s flattered and aroused and yet no sex.
We agree that we should get back to work (although still intertwined) and he looks at me and says I’m great.
It’s my one shot so I take it.
Kiss me.
He laughs and does just that ( a furtive peck like you’d offer a relative you haven’t seen since third grade and just want to get it over with).
We both realize that neither of us wants this and the wontons and apocalypse really must get handled.
At this point, I wake up.
Most of my insights and life answers come when I sleep.
I am always aware of when I need additional self-care- I dream of small children needing protection.
When I am feeling less than or like a failure in my professional daily life, I dream of the guts it took for me to consistently get on NYC Theater Stages and fail my way into improvement and ongoing mastery.
So naturally, as I attempt to get answers in every aspect of my life, my dreams become powerful, clear and solution oriented.
Could it be that like most long term relationships, the sensuality had sneakily and unwittingly begun to leave my relationship?
All Long Term relationships go through changes.
The trick is to survive both the unrelenting changes and mind-numbing boredom (bill paying, house maintenance, failed ventures, psycho coworkers and annoying family members) that goes with pledging to build a life with someone.
My dreams always point me in the right direction.
Attempting to maul a movie star who is a stranger is not the right direction.
My obsession with superheroes didn’t begin with Hugh Jackman and the X-Men franchise.
Hugh and the peeps just gave it a boost and a clear lust filled focus.
But what if the lust is not for the man or the movie star but what they each represent in the world.
Dedication, perseverance, commitment, responsibility to care for and support another.
All of these are wonderful qualities that anyone can develop and trust me it’s easier than trying to convince a straight superhero to join you on the dark side.