Tag Archives: bell hooks

Men Refusing Domination

Everyday all around me and in multiple formats, the world reminds me that I’m flawed and not a “real man”. Men who Resist Domination are often seen as weak, pussies, someone to trifle with. We are often seen as less of a threat to the world. For not upholding toxic and typical masculinity, we pay… Read More »

She Real Cool : My Long Overdue Love Letter to bell hooks

Twenty five years ago this Fall, I had a spiritual breakthrough/mental breakdown. Twenty five years ago, I left another disastrous and doomed from the start relationship. My second one in less than a year. What made this one different is that two wonderful women entered and changed my life (Vievee Francis who had been a… Read More »

The #1 Reason Men Struggle with Relationships (And What to Do About It)

Men lie. We live in a culture that encourages lies and shame. Men are rarely supported in speaking their truth. We are supported in giving up what makes us vulnerable, real and ultimately human. Male gender assignments start early thereby limiting and infringing on our ability to become better men and human beings. Primarily, we… Read More »

How to Handle the Middle Aged Hoax

My favorite and most valued gift by the aging process is a great big case of the “Fuck Its”. At 15, 20 and even into my thirties there was a great deal of energy put into what people thought of me and adjusting my life and thinking to accommodate the ubiquitous “them”. While everyone commented… Read More »

21 Ways for Black Males to become Mentally Healthy (audio interview)

When I began writing Unfettered Mind: The Importance of Black Male Mental Health, I was unaware of the need for mental health tools and the denial by many that this was not an issue that needed to be addressed. HIV, unemployment, cripplingly low self esteem and a host of other issues menace black men in… Read More »

Three Things that keep you from “really ” living

“To be fearless no matter what happens-that is the root of true happiness. To move forward resolutely regardless of what lies in store-that is the spirit of, the resolve that leads to human victory. But if we allow ourselves to be disturbed by petty criticism and slander, or we fear pressure and persecution, we will… Read More »

Can Gay Men be Friends ?

Growing up and coming out, I constantly heard very interesting messages regarding friendships between men and women. The message was loud and clear and annoying: they don’t work. I thought this was interesting and often wondered why people would make such assumptions. Then of course, I grew up and started dating men and to some… Read More »