Tag Archives: bell hooks

The #1 Reason Men Struggle with Relationships (And What to Do About It)

Men lie. We live in a culture that encourages lies and shame. Men are rarely supported in speaking their truth. We are supported in giving up what makes us vulnerable, real and ultimately human. Male gender assignments start early thereby limiting and infringing on our ability to become better men and human beings. Primarily, we… Read More »

How to Handle the Middle Aged Hoax

My favorite and most valued gift by the aging process is a great big case of the “Fuck Its”. At 15, 20 and even into my thirties there was a great deal of energy put into what people thought of me and adjusting my life and thinking to accommodate the ubiquitous “them”. While everyone commented… Read More »

Can Gay Men be Friends ?

Growing up and coming out, I constantly heard very interesting messages regarding friendships between men and women. The message was loud and clear and annoying: they don’t work. I thought this was interesting and often wondered why people would make such assumptions. Then of course, I grew up and started dating men and to some… Read More »

An Affair to Treasure

Potato salad flowed. Greens were served and fried chicken got piled high. I recently spent the most glorious evening with a wonderful group of gay men. If you have never spent a good chunk of your evening in the company of adult men you have not lived. I had forgotten the joy that comes from… Read More »

Why Black and White Relationships should matter to everyone

I’m a basic mutt Euro-American male. I was adopted and raised from infancy in a very loving, inter-cultural family (a European/African-American household in 1970’s surburban Los Angeles). As such, loving, supportive and long-lasting interracial relationships are all I have ever really known and seen exemplified in my life. I have always remained pretty much quiet… Read More »

Moving beyond Fetish… The opportunities for growth and joy via black and white gay male relationships

I have spent half of my dating life with white men. As far as I can see, there is a great deal of confusion and mayhem regarding how these seemingly divergent groups get along, partner up and develop loving, committed non exploitative relationships. What is this thing we call attraction ? Is it learned ?… Read More »