My very young and impressionable grandchildren cornered me one day regarding my pending nuptials.
Are you the girl? Who will wear the dress?
After the inquisition was masterfully handled, they each shrugged, looked at each other then sped off on a skateboard and bike respectively.
I have influenced hundreds of young people and it always amazes me when they are given the opportunity to ingest homophobia or racism and decide that they would rather not.
When it comes down to loving the person who has shown patience, consideration and consistency or dismissing the same person because of a “perceived difference”, young folks will invariably go with the more loving approach.
Homophobia is taught by adults and is based on the images they consume.
As a result, homophobia goes unchecked and unchallenged.
My new family embraces me for the unique and powerful gifts I bring (teaching, an inordinate amount of patience and much attention to each child’s personal needs).
My family of origin would like to feign shock that I am still gay and horrors of horrors am marrying another man.
My young charges are not aware (are clueless) about the reality that there are institutions (made up of scary people) that would like me dead.
Whether it is slow and methodical (drugs, alchohol, sex, low self esteem, toxic shame) or quick and effective (bashings, homicide), the goal remains the same: destroy the fag.
While I would like to prevent them from ever witnessing these atrocious side of humanity, it is important that when they are faced with it they refuse to be silent.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful for all of them to stand up one day and say: I was co-raised by a black gay men who is loving and kind.
I was recruited by a Black Gay to be powerful, fearless and demand that the world and my country live up to its promise and move beyond domination and scapegoating?
With all of the media images (which make money from our suffering) attacking our psyches, it makes it difficult to live a trauma free life.
Media influence is real and not to be dismissed or overlooked by those of us who know better.
My younguns while questioning my marriage and this level of commitment only questioned it to gain clarity.
They assumed we (my husband and I) were already married.
This was when it became clear to me that all of the bullshit we take on as “reality”/just the way things are is a learned, systematic process that can be just as systematically done away with.
When a four year old asks you : When is your ceremony?
You can do nothing but smile and feel hopeful.
I would like the dumb bigots that consciously confuse pedophilia with homosexuality to visit my grandchildren so that they can learn.
Wouldn’t it be incredible to have my four year old school conservative “family values” folk in how to stop being an idiot?
This would make a great you tube clip.