Three Things That Gay Men Should Give Up

Whether it is big or small screen,gay men are everywhere. We are often served images that reinscribe stereotypes: the raving queen, the hard core -rough trade -nobody knows I’m gay, the “I will fuck anything” and have no moral center gay, and finally, the culture expert/innovator who entertains. It is time we reclaimed our brilliance,creativity,power… Read More »

Why We Should Choose “Grown Up Love”

Most of us are raised by people who know nothing about love. Many of us confuse love with care(http://goodmenproject.com/guy-talk/why-we-confuse-love-with-care/) and then wonder why we are so confused, angry and carry a world of hurt inside our hearts. It is not p.c. to say you don’t love your children or for them to say they didn’t… Read More »

Seven Tips to Make Your Parenting Suck Less

When I began teaching, I wanted six children of my own. Once I entered the classroom and noticed the pure insanity of the “system”, the way children were treated and expected to learn and one awful teacher to many, I rethought my decision. I assumed that it was the educator’s job to educate no matter… Read More »

My Obsession with Stevie Wonder Will Never Go Away

When I spent way too much time dating assholes in the 90’s, I came across a great quote that changed who and why I dated. bell hooks spoke of making love while listening to the genius that is Stevie Wonder. I took this observation to heart like all things hooks and Wonder. As a kid,… Read More »

Why We Need Lauryn Hill More Than Ever

Ten years ago, I received a call with an offer to work with Lauryn Hill. As a result of my obsession with this talented young woman, I couldn’t agree to the gig fast enough. In my excitement, I called my sister (a fellow groupie), my cousin and anyone else I could dial up. While I… Read More »

Why We Fear Transpersons and What to Do About It

Miss Brown was an addict, a sex worker, a transgender MTF and my friend. When we became cooking buddies, I began to learn a great deal about transitioning and its challenges. She taught me a great deal about about men, power, money and negotiating of sexual liasons. While I struggled to be progressive, I often… Read More »

How to Use Films to Teach Self Love and Misogyny

Fairy tales and movies can teach us to love ourselves or misogyny. Filmmakers and creatives often rely on stereotypes to keep us entertained and non thinking. As a boy, I loved stories of all kinds and lacked the cultural insight of a dear friend who told me that when reading Hansel and Gretel, she always… Read More »

How to Handle the Middle Aged Hoax

My favorite and most valued gift by the aging process is a great big case of the “Fuck Its”. At 15, 20 and even into my thirties there was a great deal of energy put into what people thought of me and adjusting my life and thinking to accommodate the ubiquitous “them”. While everyone commented… Read More »