She Real Cool : My Long Overdue Love Letter to bell hooks

Twenty five years ago this Fall, I had a spiritual breakthrough/mental breakdown. Twenty five years ago, I left another disastrous and doomed from the start relationship. My second one in less than a year. What made this one different is that two wonderful women entered and changed my life (Vievee Francis who had been a… Read More »

Psst.. The Number One Secret to Great Sex With Your Spouse (Keeping It Hard Twice a Week)

Admit it. You know you need to do it at least twice a week but don’t. You don’t want to even though it would make you and your mate uncontrollably happy. Most couples find sex less than thrilling about the same time they’ve heard you retell the same story about winning the third grade spelling… Read More »

The #1 Reason Marriages Become Sexless (And What To Do About It)

Remember a while back when I boldly stated:Shared victories would eliminate bedroom blahs and spark up a connection that had gone cold. I have a confession. I was wrong. The secret to a great relationship and mind blowing, soul shaking sex is difficult conversations. At minimum, twice weekly. Like most wonderful things in my life,… Read More »

The # 1 Cause of Drama (Broken Agreements) And What to Do About It

All issues, drama, chaos and confusion can be traced back to the same source. A broken agreement. Somebody didn’t hold up their end of an agreement and decided to go in another direction. Most of us make agreements all day with all sorts of people. Many of these agreements are not verbalized. They remain silent,… Read More »

Are You Afraid of Being Powerful?

Power and who gets to have and wield it often get a bad rap. Power and its direct offshoot, leadership, are not valued by people who have been victimized by powerful people. I am very concerned with who gets listened to and why and why more of this type of inequality is not more scrutinized… Read More »

Why Passion Scares Us and What to Do About It

Passion is for teenagers and foreigners. Marge Simpson Americans do not like nor understand passion. As a nation, our responses to passionate individuals includes excommunication and if this does not hinder the passionate individual, there is also death. As a passionate person, my motivations and sense of urgency are often looked upon with suspicion, disgust… Read More »

Warning: Black, Gorgeous, Brilliant Gay Man is Influencing Young Children

My very young and impressionable grandchildren cornered me one day regarding my pending nuptials. Are you the girl? Who will wear the dress? After the inquisition was masterfully handled, they each shrugged, looked at each other then sped off on a skateboard and bike respectively. I have influenced hundreds of young people and it always… Read More »