Nine Things Black Folks Need to Stop Doing Part 8 (Addressing Mental Health Issues)

By | March 29, 2018

If we really want to move forward and make some changes, we’ve got to get and keep our minds together.

So many of us are bat shit crazy with no desire to get better.

We can’t move forward when so many of us are consumed with emotional and psychological pain.

I have met several people whose lives are racked with angst and upset.

To create wonderful solutions for daily problems, we need freedom of thought and the ability to psychologically persevere.

The old black folks referred to it as “stay here”.

Three years ago I wrote about black folks and emotional healing in a post called Unfettered Mind: The Importance of Black Male Mental Health.

In that essay, I discussed the ways we are assaulted daily and how I have used absolutely everything at my disposal to make sure my mind stays right.

My focus on mental health caused and continues to cause a stir.

It is time to relinquish our belief that a pound cake from big momma, some hand holding and praying will adequately address our emotional distress.

When I began seeing a therapist years ago (per the advice of a trusted fellow creative), I was slightly interrogated by my mother.

The concern was not why I was seeing a therapist; it was more important to ask what I was telling this person.

I couldn’t figure out why this was the larger issue and a major concern.

The time I spent in therapy cleared up some chronic patterns and allowed me to make some serious changes.

I moved away from less than productive relationships and began caring for myself in a more nurturing manner.

It may take time to find a trusted therapist who can support you in your journey to well being and it is worth the effort.

My second therapy experience was a series of couples sessions which highlighted ways that me and my then partner refused to listen to each other.

During the course of the aforementioned relationship, I began a practice known as Cocounseling.

Co-counseling is based on building a community whose focus is on the reemergence (clear thinking) of the individual.

While many people love to “rehearse ” their bullshit and flat out refuse to rewrite their story, there is a group of folks who invite persons to reevaluate their tales.

According to the CC theory-infants want to know “where do I belong?” and adults want to be “heard”.

Black folk who want to move forward must get honest about what are needs are and then get supremely honest about what we’ve done to get them met.

A very large portion of our mental health struggles are mired in the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we allow ourselves to be told.

Talk abut suffering and hard down foolishness.

When folk get real honest, people get mad and get gone.

In my early 20’s, I was not honest about my love and sexual attraction for men.

I was “out” with most friends and no one in my family.

The lies and half truths caused enough drama to last a lifetime.

At the same time, I was dating many men who were sociopaths, drug addicts and drunks.

I was the one who was the least healthy.

My collusion (which came out as silence about anything that might tip off my parents) kept me suffering and engulfed in the spin cycle that is codependency and self negation.

I told myself: Once (insert name of most recent stud here) gets with me, he won’t want that crack/weed/cocktail; I told others: Your drug addiction is just like my love of chocolate and desserts.

These lies kept me from coming out and allowed the acceptance of my piss- poor man picking skills.

Once I began demanding and getting my mind back certain foolishness was no longer acceptable.

Attending twelve step programs and talking with other folks on a similar journey was an eye opening experience.

I want to encourage all black folks to make these changes as well.

It is my wish that we all get very clear minded and healthy.

It is the only way we can successfully conduct a proper and inclusive revolution.

Make a choice to be so damn healthy that nothing will stop you from creating an awesome and well lived life.

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