All issues, drama, chaos and confusion can be traced back to the same source. A broken agreement. Somebody didn’t hold up their end of an agreement and decided to go in another direction. Most of us make agreements all day with all sorts of people. Many of these agreements are not verbalized. They remain silent,… Read More »
Power and who gets to have and wield it often get a bad rap. Power and its direct offshoot, leadership, are not valued by people who have been victimized by powerful people. I am very concerned with who gets listened to and why and why more of this type of inequality is not more scrutinized… Read More »
My very young and impressionable grandchildren cornered me one day regarding my pending nuptials. Are you the girl? Who will wear the dress? After the inquisition was masterfully handled, they each shrugged, looked at each other then sped off on a skateboard and bike respectively. I have influenced hundreds of young people and it always… Read More »
Celibacy is Unrealistic Gay men are taught that everything must be handled sexually. Celibacy is a wonderful way for gay men to handle emotional needs without sexual activity. We are not encouraged to seek counsel to deal with our problems in ways that require silence, contemplation or self- reflection. We are supported in using one… Read More »
I have spent far too much time treating my straight male friends like shit. When it comes to friendships with straight male counterparts, my assumptions are quick, limiting and in many cases wrong. This is a problem when I fight for and demand that we as men think and behave differently and when personally offered… Read More »
When I attempted to reconcile a doomed relationship for the third time in five years, my heart was broken and my mind was fried. I already knew the answer to the question “can this relationship be saved ?” No. It can’t. As black gay men, we get inducted into a lifetime of disappointment at a… Read More »
According to all of the images forced down my throat and into my psyche, I am not among the “hotness” that is gay male culture.
Men loving men has its own challenges and no place is this more evident than the realm of financial responsibility. Like many of our straight male counterparts, we often enter relationships with many severely limited and unproductive views regarding earning and managing money. More often than not , we equate a man’s earnings and or… Read More »
My new favorite past time is falling in love with men’s potential. Instead of taking an honest look at what a person presents as their true self, I like the big game of pretend. Basically, I wasn’t very bright and instead of examining my choices regarding my health and well being , I decided to… Read More »
Most of the HIV positive people I know became infected in the course of a relationship. After talking with a good friend from overseas, I was informed of this incredible theory. My brilliant ally and I discussed at length the risks people are willing to take and for what reason.