Being unemployed sucks and the longer it drags on the worse you feel.
One of the first things to fade away long before the onslaught of dwindling self esteem is the way time misbehaves.
Time and its limits are understood by those with jobs, appointments and meetings.
When there is nothing that needs your immediate attention or response one day might as well be the same as another.
Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday ? Does it really matter ?
At some point, all of the days run together and nothing matters anymore.
The first thirty days post getting sacked can feel like a summer vacation.
One month of this is fun and we can convince ourselves that it will all end soon. When month two , three and four begins , things can start to look very hopeless.
When my third month rolled around and there were no savings, no income and no unemployment insurance rolling in, I began to legitimately panic.
With loads of time on my hands, nothing to do and nowhere to be I made a timely and costly mistake.
I foolishly reentered a relationship that was as hopeless as my bank account.
This relationship would ease as bit of the loneliness (or so I thought) and the uncertainty that accompanies being unemployed.
Why did I do it ?
Fear and an intolerance for uncertainty.
If I’d just trusted myself a bit more and held out a bit longer, things would have turned out very differently.
My impatience led to making some dumb decisions and prevented me from looking at what had gotten me to this point and what I could do to gain a new set of skills and preserve my sanity.