Tag Archives: successful relationships

What Black Lightning Can Teach Us About Black Love

Most of what Hollywood creates and peddles as black love and revolution simply doesn’t cut it. Over the years, we have seen several attempts to entertain and pimp us by recycling black images that don’t uplift or change us in any effective way. However, we now have a new voice and representation that makes me… Read More »

Psst.. The Number One Secret to Great Sex With Your Spouse (Keeping It Hard Twice a Week)

Admit it. You know you need to do it at least twice a week but don’t. You don’t want to even though it would make you and your mate uncontrollably happy. Most couples find sex less than thrilling about the same time they’ve heard you retell the same story about winning the third grade spelling… Read More »

The # 1 Cause of Drama (Broken Agreements) And What to Do About It

All issues, drama, chaos and confusion can be traced back to the same source. A broken agreement. Somebody didn’t hold up their end of an agreement and decided to go in another direction. Most of us make agreements all day with all sorts of people. Many of these agreements are not verbalized. They remain silent,… Read More »

Are You Afraid of Being Powerful?

Power and who gets to have and wield it often get a bad rap. Power and its direct offshoot, leadership, are not valued by people who have been victimized by powerful people. I am very concerned with who gets listened to and why and why more of this type of inequality is not more scrutinized… Read More »

Warning: Black, Gorgeous, Brilliant Gay Man is Influencing Young Children

My very young and impressionable grandchildren cornered me one day regarding my pending nuptials. Are you the girl? Who will wear the dress? After the inquisition was masterfully handled, they each shrugged, looked at each other then sped off on a skateboard and bike respectively. I have influenced hundreds of young people and it always… Read More »

Five Dumb Sex Beliefs that Keep Gay Men from Finding True Love

Celibacy is Unrealistic Gay men are taught that everything must be handled sexually. Celibacy is a wonderful way for gay men to handle emotional needs without sexual activity. We are not encouraged to seek counsel to deal with our problems in ways that require silence, contemplation or self- reflection. We are supported in using one… Read More »

How Gay and Straight Men Can Learn from Each Other and Build Great Relationships

I have spent far too much time treating my straight male friends like shit. When it comes to friendships with straight male counterparts, my assumptions are quick, limiting and in many cases wrong. This is a problem when I fight for and demand that we as men think and behave differently and when personally offered… Read More »

Another gay male secret: I’m so disappointed

When I attempted to reconcile a doomed relationship for the third time in five years, my heart was broken and my mind was fried. I already knew the answer to the question “can this relationship be saved ?” No. It can’t. As black gay men, we get inducted into a lifetime of disappointment at a… Read More »

How Money affects Gay Male Couples.. WARNING! This posts tells gay men’s dirty secrets

Men loving men has its own challenges and no place is this more evident than the realm of financial responsibility. Like many of our straight male counterparts, we often enter relationships with many severely limited and unproductive views regarding earning and managing money. More often than not , we equate a man’s earnings and or… Read More »