Many times in life we are presented with opportunities.
We are then required to say yes or no. Iyanla Vanzant mentioned this in a video I recently viewed. Being obsessed with the power of choice, I have begun looking at what occurs in my life when I respond to people, events, opportunities with a vigorous, heartfelt, maybe.
Going against what I knew to be true by wavering in my thinking or acting because I didn’t want to offend or upset another has always left me fucked up, confused and ultimately mad at myself.
Dating a lunatic for four months that I fed, housed and constantly needed to emotionally corral was four months of one maybe after another.
If I could get him to stop drinking then maybe we could have a relationship.
If I could get him out of the house of a former lover who possibly, maybe had an interest in him, maybe we would have a shot at a decent relationship.
If I could get him to get a job, stop being racist, realize that he was in some serious medical danger, maybe we could move forward and actually begin to create a real relationship.
Maybes are designed to screw you up and over. Maybes are always extremely difficult to change and challenge.
A better way to live is to remind our constantly chattering minds that we have two choices that create wonderful results.
There have been times when I have been beyond clear.
Acting on this gut level intuition, my decisions and the results have been incredible,brave, productive and self esteem raising.
I have never regretted a yes or no response to anything in my life.
So many of us at one time or another have failed to make this simple and effective choice (yes or no) instead opting for the abyss that is the world of maybe.
My regrets have come from the passive and stultifying maybe that always comes back to menace and shame me in one way or another.
If I make a decision to do a certain thing, give it some thought, gather more information then go in another direction this is considered bold and powerful.
If I make a yes or no decision, then decide to waiver in the land of “maybe”, I am considered weak and spineless in my own eyes and the eyes of those who love and care for me.
How do I prevent the constant doubt that accompanies maybe and the uncertainty it brings ?
I consult my gut collect and review information and then make a decision.
Maybe is not an option.