HIV Receives Its First Hate Mail in Thirty Years

By | November 1, 2011

Dear HIV,

I am sending you this brief note because once again you have pissed me off.

I could ask how you are doing but I don’t really care. I know what you’re doing because you are still here and refusing to leave even though you have taken so much from the world already. Like an unwanted guest who is so stupid and clueless and overstayed their welcome, it is clearly time for you to go.

The time for bargining and fear-ladden responses is now over.

Instead, I am now personally taking you on because clearly annihilation is the only option. I do have a few questions before I plot and ultimately enact your destruction. I can’t defeat you if I am unaware of your all-out war efforts on my peeps. So far, you have had three decades of carnage and mayhem.

In three decades , how have you managed to hoodwink us into thinking that you were no longer a big deal ? How have you managed to convince us to lessen our vigilance and trust that because you didn’t always show immediate physical proof of your existence that this meant you had yet to set up shop ? Lastly, how were you able to make so many people believe that your existence is the totality of what it means to be gay and male which allows you to be a problem ony to be addressed by one small segment of the community ?

When you first entered our consciousness, I was a confused, frightened young man terrorized both by my sexual desires and what would happen should I give in to them.

However, there where some brave souls that took you on early and whooped some ass. This was not enough for you so you reinvented yourself with fear, apathy and plain ignorance then lulled many of us into believing you would leave us alone if we left you alone.

That bullshit never worked on me.

I dated a beautiful soul who was kind, talented and thoughtful. After reducing him to ninety pounds,you swept in and finished him off. I have never forgotten or forgiven you for that. Now, there is a new attack on beautiful young men who believe you are nothing more than a cold who can be handled with a kind word, a daily pill, and some good intentions. I’ve got your number and I’m determined that everyone see you for the despicable slim ball that you are.

While your latest coup has been our young men, it is now over.

I will let everyone in on your continuous reinvention and lack of originality. As Tina would say, “Are you ready for me ?” Any young person I met who has swallowed your lies will be offered a healthy heimlich called truth and self love. Is it clear that I hate you and that I am your worst nightmare. Someone who knows the truth and is not afraid to indiscriminately share it. As Buffy stated in her final season , “I always find a way”.

If I were you, I would be very afraid.

2 thoughts on “HIV Receives Its First Hate Mail in Thirty Years

  1. Al

    Cripes Anthony!!! My eyes are welling up just thinking of someone I lost to this scourge nearly 20 years ago now. Yep …as I arm myself and others once again in his memory and the memory of countless others who never made it through!!!

  2. Dan Collier

    So damned clever, Anthony! A powerful and moving piece, passionately felt. Thanks much for this powerful letter, coming at HIV from a very creative angle. It deserves placement far and wide, beyond the gay blog arena.


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