Yesterday, I made the determination that I would have major breakthroughs in every aspect of my life by six in the evening.
I had them in my home with my little darlings and my husband.
I had them at work in that I didn’t allow the early morning interaction to set the tone for my day.
Two things stuck out for me yesterday: I needed to take full responsibility for how I was showing up (resetting and enjoying the boundary setting process) and not being hoodwinked or made to feel less than when my obsession with perfectionism and knowing everything didn’t kick in.
Many times in life we avoid responsibility.
We claim ignorance, confusion or just plain boredom as the reason that we are not moving forward as agreed.
There have been several instances that I tried to fake it(understanding certain things that I was totally confused about). If I’m faking it and questions are not allowed then I’m always afraid of what may happen.
I can’t be free to think, dream and dare.
There is no room for error and mistakes become deadly and unforgivable. This is the way most companies are run and how most human interaction takes place.
I am often floored when I see people voluntarily allow themselves to be terrorized by folks who are totally clueless regarding the obstacles that must be navigated in order to achieve success and the agreed upon outcome.
Unfortunately, there exist few places where being unsure or completely baffled is ok.
When it is not permissible to disagree or failure is looked at negatively and not an option, we severely limit what people and in turn organizations can achieve. When people are afraid or intimidated, it is impossible to get the best out of them or allow them to flounder while experimentation occurs and new solutions are allowed to emerge.
As a lifelong theatre rat creative genius, I live for uncertainty and organized chaos.
Not knowing things does not frighten me or make me feel doomed to a life of failure.
In the arts (my focus here is theater), one is expected to try different things. To literally learn what works by learning what doesn’t work. We(theater lovers and creative types) approach new projects with the belief that the butterflies in our stomachs mean to move forward.
We do not approach a new project with the belief that we will have all the “right” answers all the time, right from the beginning.
We allow ourselves the pleasure of not knowing and the joy of self and creative discovery.
When I first started teaching years ago, it was in an after school drama program. Although I knew very little about classroom management and the wacky world of small children, I understood the need for encouraging young people to make interesting mistakes.
My seasoned teaching colleagues offered a great deal of advice in reference to dominating, showing who was boss and control.
No one had a clue about how to instill self-reliance and assessment, grit, curiosity or the ability to bounce back from failure (resiliency).
When I constantly pointed out that noise, mayhem and such didn’t have to mean negativity and that a quiet room filled with quiet children didn’t mean learning, comprehension or understanding was taking place, folks got really perturbed and real quiet.
Mistakes and a willingness to embrace them are the only way we learn.
If what we seek and what is permissible is only perfection then perhaps we should no longer hire humans.
Although the world I come from welcomes and relishes mistakes, most of the world does not. I am only basing this on my work experience of thirty years and my understanding of human interaction that is often fear and loneliness based.
How do we win at work?
First, we need to get and stay very clear about what we are about and what we are willing to sacrifice or not all in an effort to fit in and keep a job. Taking responsibility for a job and not being lulled into the fear and ridiculousness that is perfections is a difficult, time-consuming task.
If you are spending 50, 60 or in some extreme cases 60+ hours in an environment, it makes sense to make it one where everyone can flourish and no one’s person feels diminished.
This should be the goal of every relationship despite where it occurs and with whom.