“Have you ever failed at something?”
My youngest sister was asking my opinion on life and failing.
I could only chuckle and then look her in the eye with this witty retort: “Most of the shit I’ve tried has failed. What’s made my life interesting is what I did after failing.”
Rather than rattle off my list of mishaps, I chose to state that while things have often gone awry, I have created a hell of a good life by pure imagination, stick to itness and guts.
We talked about me leaving Detroit then moving to Japan for the Summer before moving to NYC with only $300 in my pocket.
Since turning forty, my take on personal power and miracle creation has hit a massive turnabout.
Gone are the days of my teenage years, when I believed that being a good person and doing my homework would allow for some serious world domination.
Gone are the days of my twenties when a healthy dose of self-delusion allowed me to believe that as a burgeoning artist on the brink of major worldwide stardom, everyone should extend financial credit to me and allow me to imbue them with my hopes and dreams. This thinking costs me friendships and strained relationships with people brave and stupid enough to stick around.
When looking at what I ‘ve accomplished and or attempted, I can see a pattern.
Seth Godin, being the god that he is, let’s us know that his job and the job of those seeking to make change is to seek out and notice patterns.
If I’m honest with myself, I notice two things that are always prevalent whenever it is time for me to move my life forward.
Every time I made a miracle, there were two small and powerful changes.
Typically, there was one internal (psychological/emotional) change and one external(behavior) change.
For example, when I was fighting to move out of poverty and into a permanent job, my thoughts needed to change.
I needed to believe that there was something else to examine and a multitude of options to consider.
While I had “tried” to change before, it never worked.
On some level, I believed that to be a prolific artist, I needed to starve, struggle and in general have a life that sucked serious coconuts.
It didn’t matter how many jobs I applied or interviewed for, it was the same effect- NADA!
While applying, I often felt that any and every job would keep me from the “stage”.
My thinking and behavior were often in alignment.
My thinking said that I didn’t deserve to have any financial solvency or any semblance of financial savvy.
My thinking said: make enough to keep a roof over your head and your ass on the stage. This limited and stupid thinking kept me broke and desperate. Nobody can do their best work or show up and show out if you have put yourself in the position to “need” someone to do something.
Desperation just puts you in the position to be pimped and used because what you are presenting to the world is “I’m not enough”.
Nothing good can come from this way of thinking. Which as you know is the key to influencing behavior.
Behavior and thinking are highly intertwined.
Does it matter which change happens first?