You secretly want to be unreasonable.
You want to send the food back. Ask the waiter to reseat you and dump your bithchy friend who’s always telling you to give up on your derams because clearly they’ve given up on theirs.
But you don’t.
You justify bad food. Don’t want to disturb the waiter.
You explain, justify and accomodate a friend you should have kicked to the curb when Living Single was still on the air.
What is the worst that could happen if you got real and went all out unreasoable?
What if you started asking for what you really want and stamping what you don’t want with a big fat “Return to Sender”?
How about a serious time commitment to a life of being unreasonable.
What does a decade or two of being unreasonable look like?
It means that you are so consumed with being healthy that you demand it of yourself and your environment. You don’t wait around for someone to make a suggestion about your health then fight them on every turn about your opinons or rights.
My parents have been isntructed by more than one doctor to lose weight, exercise and take better care of themselves.
This means turning their backs on all they know and all that is culturally sanctioned. To get healthy (a big step in the direction of being unreasonable) they’d have to say no to shit they’ve said yes to over the years.
Eating differently, investigating some movement for their aging bodies and getting more rest and water would greatly improve their lives.
This pandemic has taught me that people will put up with anything and believe clarity, vision or compassion is being completely unreasonable.
And here’s the best and deadliest way to pick up the reins of being unreasonable.
Speak up when you’re unsure anyone will hear you or be interested in your insight.
This is where the magic lives.
More than once, I’ve spoken up and expected a certain response.
Many times I got a reaction based in shock, embarrassment and shame.
Care Frontations (thank you Iyanla Vanzant) are rarely easy or fun.
People do what works for them- this means what is familiar, easy, fast and fun.
Being unreasonable requires a few things- enlisting the help of others while honing your craft or newly obsessed goal until your tribe comes a calling.
All while knowing the haters will be there ready to attack, critique and belittle.
So what do you do?
Give them mofos something to flap their non-productive, mediocre gums about.
One of the things I’ve consistently noticed is that reasonable folk are a joyless bunch.
Joy can only be found when you’re taking on and committing to the impossible.
The unrelenting fervor that one must stoke to achieve the unreasonable is like a drug. When I’ve been in (flow) my gut was filled with lava. This only happens when you’ve made the choice to take a bite out of life.
Waiting for reasonable means a life of predictability, sameness and boredom.
When someone suggest I shrink my dream or thinking , I instantly know this person is not a part of my tribe of unreasonableness.
Yes, I made that word up. It’s my essay goddamnnit.
So how do we turn this around and make sure our lives are full, lush and desirable?
We recommit to doing the unexpected.
We allow oursleves to dream big the take charge of the visions we’re sent.
We get visions all the time (dreaming during sleep) and slight nudges from the universe saying try this or do that or go for this.
Do you listen to those inklings or stay small and ensure you don’t upset those around you who’ve grown dependent on your status quo never changing?