Why I No Longer Manage Stress

By | March 28, 2022

Can I be honest for a moment?

I live for drama and mass confusion.

At the edge of sanity and looking to take a leap into confusion, the unknown completely turns my frown upside down.

And here’s the really honest part…

That was how I used to live.

In my twenties, there was nothing more delightful or time-consuming than some good old-fashioned shenanigans.

Moving, getting a great job, losing a mediocre gig, and breaking up were all activities that kept me in a constant spin cycle.

And I loved every minute of it.

Shocked Gasp GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Until one day, after another emotional crash and burn, I decided I would no longer encourage, look for or expect chaos and confusion (thanks Mother Vanzant).

I needed another way of dealing with life and a culture of healthy living. In short, I decided to stop mananging what I didn’t want- stress and began looking for ways to eliminate it.

I took a stress test.

According to the instructions, many things (good and bad) caused or increased the amount of stress in our lives.

A score of 200 was considered bat shit crazy, a walking volcano and a psychopath waiting to emerge.

My score was 500.

Armed with this information, I chose to do nothing.

After some time passed, doing nothing was getting me nowhere. Self Help books taught me how to make changes to eliminate this unwanted and instrusive visitor.

What I did (and this took several years to learn) was develop my own set of early warning signs.

Stress warning signs let me know when things were on the verge of disaster then redirect my focus and limited supply of energy, patience and compassion.

My warning signs were not created in isolation. Each was co-created with persons that I love and then premiered in real world situations to test them out.

My first job was learning to really listen to my body.

After spending time with individuals, I would take stock of how I felt.

Did I feel confident ? Powerful ? Decisive ? Willing to take on and win all challenges ?

Did I feel less than ? Belittled ? Need a nap?

I used to have a paramour that literally took so much on so many levels that post every interaction, even a conversation, I was tired and needed to rest.

Tired Work GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

This was a clear indication that this person was a whole lot of drama and I needed to remove this leech from my life.

I also learned a powerful tool for removing resentment.

This tool shuts down any and all nonsense.

One small two letter word. One powerful, life altering tool- NO.

Once I mastered this not only did my life become increasingly less stressful, I then was privy to a whole world of possibilities and options I was unaware of.

How many ways can you say no and mean it?

Who or what needs a big NO from you?

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