When Private Dancer hit the charts, I drove everybody around me nuts. While my parents constantly threatened to throw the goddamn album out the window if I continued to play it, I ignored their loving and gentle warnings and purchased another copy. What my parents and all the other haters didn’t understand was that I… Read More »
Whether it is big or small screen,gay men are everywhere. We are often served images that reinscribe stereotypes: the raving queen, the hard core -rough trade -nobody knows I’m gay, the “I will fuck anything” and have no moral center gay, and finally, the culture expert/innovator who entertains. It is time we reclaimed our brilliance,creativity,power… Read More »
Most of us are raised by people who know nothing about love. Many of us confuse love with care(http://goodmenproject.com/guy-talk/why-we-confuse-love-with-care/) and then wonder why we are so confused, angry and carry a world of hurt inside our hearts. It is not p.c. to say you don’t love your children or for them to say they didn’t… Read More »
When I began teaching, I wanted six children of my own. Once I entered the classroom and noticed the pure insanity of the “system”, the way children were treated and expected to learn and one awful teacher to many, I rethought my decision. I assumed that it was the educator’s job to educate no matter… Read More »
Celibacy is Unrealistic Gay men are taught that everything must be handled sexually. Celibacy is a wonderful way for gay men to handle emotional needs without sexual activity. We are not encouraged to seek counsel to deal with our problems in ways that require silence, contemplation or self- reflection. We are supported in using one… Read More »
When I spent way too much time dating assholes in the 90’s, I came across a great quote that changed who and why I dated. bell hooks spoke of making love while listening to the genius that is Stevie Wonder. I took this observation to heart like all things hooks and Wonder. As a kid,… Read More »
Ten years ago, I received a call with an offer to work with Lauryn Hill. As a result of my obsession with this talented young woman, I couldn’t agree to the gig fast enough. In my excitement, I called my sister (a fellow groupie), my cousin and anyone else I could dial up. While I… Read More »
Miss Brown was an addict, a sex worker, a transgender MTF and my friend. When we became cooking buddies, I began to learn a great deal about transitioning and its challenges. She taught me a great deal about about men, power, money and negotiating of sexual liasons. While I struggled to be progressive, I often… Read More »
Fairy tales and movies can teach us to love ourselves or misogyny. Filmmakers and creatives often rely on stereotypes to keep us entertained and non thinking. As a boy, I loved stories of all kinds and lacked the cultural insight of a dear friend who told me that when reading Hansel and Gretel, she always… Read More »
At 47, I have realized much time has been spent like Carrie Bradshaw and the girls: Chasing men who don’t want me or can’t or won’t love me. My entire twenties was spent coasting from one ill-fated and dead end relationship to another. The one constant was my soul crushing, mind numbing loneliness and state… Read More »